6th April 2023: Tattenhall (mod)

Cleopatra’s was the meeting point today, which saw a turn out of approx 12 and unusually, no fast boys at all. Amongst the 12 was a new member (a slight man, with silvery white hair and a somewhat young looking face, for his age that is- Lol) pitched up on a rather lovely Scott bike. That said, we later discovered, that this particular model has a built in fault, where the crank arm randomly falls off (not so lovely after all- more about that later- Lol)

As usual I digress, before I have even introduced the merry band that formed my group for the day- Lol. And so it came to pass; Andy, DH, ‘new man’-Lol, Dave & Lizz, Ray B, Dave M and Steve’s; Hu, Ha & T became my group for the day, after what can only be described as a fine example of CER dithering- Lol. This was primarily due to nobody having a route, of course, although Steve T tried, but I think his pretend Garmin was not playing ball again- Lol. I had my usual local easy hills option, which I didn’t really expect to use. However, once I mentioned Alison’s cafe would be my destination, as it favoured the forecasted strong winds, then my route became the go to ride, despite mentioning a few light hills.

Off we finally trot, once DH had found the tel number for our cafe destination, which secured us a reservation. 10 bikes and 11 cyclists ( no, DH was not riding crossbar on Ray’s Ebike- Lol.) We of course had Dave & Lizz on the tandem. We headed out directly south with a nice tailwind, which made it easy for some of us to tap the pace along, until we turned east around the bottom of Malpas, as that was roughly when the infamous crank arm fell off. This meant that George would have to turn back for home. (That’s right, there wasn’t a ‘new man’ after all. It had been so long since anybody had seen George that we simply didn’t recognise him- Lol Lol). However, in true CER fashion, a few volunteers were on hand to help out and escort George back to his car at Cleo’s (thanks to Andy, Steve Hu and DH) 

So, after a little coordination by Steve T, via the dog & bone, (as so often happens, we were all scattered in small groups along the road) the remainder of my depleted group of 5 regrouped and resumed our ride, with the knowledge that the others, minus George of course bless him) would meet us at Alison’s. We pedalled off and I couldn’t help wonder about the likely conversation George might have when he got to the bike shop who serviced his stead, only the day before (Ouch!) 

Now through Malpas we head north east on a steady upward trend, through No Mans Heath and on past the lovely Bickerton, which I by-passed for the sake of the Tandem, only to find out, from Dave P, that Bickerton Lane would not be a problem. This meant we could now go straight over Harthill and no need to take the easier way around, which was already planned for the return leg anyway.

After regrouping at the top of Harthill we swoop down and turn right into School Lane and swing across to the rather lovely Poffee cafe at Burwardsley, which I point out to Dave & Lizz. They had heard of it but weren’t sure of its location hence, a minor detour to that end. A smart descent into Tattenhall saw us quickly at Alison’s (only 2 minutes late for our table)

Fortunately Paula was already there to warn them of our slight delay, which Lorna ( the waitress) found very surprising when Paula said we were 5 minutes away. “How do you know that” was her remark, which Paula promptly responded to by flashing her 360 app on the phone- Lol. (She likes to track me when I am on the bike, gives her peace of mind bless her.)

Our now smaller group now all settled and menu’s in hand the conversation, before DH arrived, started off with the story about the two Flying Wallendas, from the previous weeks ride- Lol. I was hearing about it for the first time, as were a few others. Cut a long story short (for those who also didn’t hear about it) Roy’s injuries were not to serious, fortunately, although a broken thumb was the latest update (get well soon mate). Then Dave arrived and filled us in on the rest of the story, as he was the second Wallenda- Lol.  Apparently DH’s acrobatics, before he hit the deck, were more akin to a Torville & Dean performance than a flying Wallenda- Lol. Again and fortunately, DH only suffered a minor scratch on his finger. Inexplicably, the two Wallendas touched handlebars, in some way and the rest is history, as they say. All jokes aside, it is nice to here that they got away with no serious injuries. It is a poignant reminder of how easy it can be to hit the ‘Old Macadam’, which at our ages is not advisable, as we don’t tend to bounce as well as we once did- Lol.

Lunch over, but notably, there was no sign of Steve Hu, only Andy & DH made it from the infamous ‘crank group’- Lol. I later discovered, from Strava, that Steve was on a 100 miler ride and CER was a bit of a prelude to the main event hence, I assume, he decided to carry on with his own thing, 

We set off again up the hill, out of Tattenhall and then down again- Lol. I was in auto mode, being so close to home and ignored the Garmin, telling me to take the left toward Harthill. Anyway, back on route, we were quickly assending the easier option, around Harthill and beyond to Brown Knowl and across to Tilston via a few particularly favoured lanes of mine. Once in Tilston we head up toward Wetreins Lane where I depart for home, as Steve Ha knew the way back to Cleo’s only 3 miles away. 

I got back with a respectable 47 miles on the clock, after a very pleasent meander with some great company.

Final comment, for those who may not have heard and use gas pumps. The Gov has now inexplicably outlawed gas cylinders, which is apparently due to the teenage craze for sniffing the bloody stuff. So get online quick and get your supply. I for one don’t want to struggle with a hand pump ever again, so I got myself 30 cylinders, no prob on Amazon- Lol.

Cheers everybody, till next time.

Neil.

See route map and/or gpx file download

PS. We arrived back at Cleopatra's at about 2:45, to discover we were only just in time for coffee and cakes as they were closing at 3pm for a zoom meeting. Total distance covered on the route was 35 miles. SH