25th January 2024: Stretton (mod+)

Today’s meet venue was Maggie’s, which we virtually took over. There were approximately 18 of us, all raring to go, after what seemed like weeks of no cycling. The weather forecast was promising, with no rain expected until after 2pm, which Jim was concerned about, as he and Trevor had ridden to Maggies. I had a hilly-ish, Mod+ meander in mind that appealed to the usual crowd, which for today also included Fiona and Elwyn. We had not seen them for a long long time ( they’ve been busy, catching up on travelling, the whole world it seems - Lol). The rest of the group were Alan, Steve (I’m not very good with pliers, Hu- more about that later- Lol), Steve T, Shaun & Clive.

No sooner had we started when my route dropped out on my Garmin. It was a bit spooky in fact, as I had just led us the wrong way down the one way lane that leads to Holt bridge. Clearly the Garmin objected to that and gave up-Lol. Fiona then piped up, providing me a defence, “if it’s one way, why are there traffic lights at the bottom” - my case rests, thank you Fiona- Lol Lol.

Our lunch venue, unusually, was only 3 miles from our starting point hence, the slightly tricked up and planned meander that was aimed at the forecasted stiffer winds, which didn’t really materialise. The local meander was also out of necessity, because of several known lane closures. What wind was out there made for a fairly brisk start, according to some of group (not my intention- honest Gov- Lol). It wasn’t long before our first pit stop occurred, after losing touch with a few of the group. Somebody had stopped, just as we got into Platt’s Lane, after spotting a mudguard in the gutter, thinking it belonged to somebody up front of course. However, none of us had lost a mudguard, although Alan later noticed his mud flap missing.

Pit stop over, we set about trying to keep up with Steve Hu, who suddenly went on one of his customary surges. Once reigned in, we crossed the A41 and headed toward the Ice Cream Farm, as we were by-passing Tattenhall. We passed Old Ma’s, which I pointed out to the group, that there was a sold! sign outside. This prompted me to enlighten a few of the group on the status of a couple of other cafes in the area that have also gone to the wall. Fiona had informed me, only the day before, that Manorwood cafe had recently closed, which was news to me, as that was my original lunch venue- Lol. Again, only the day before, I also discovered, as I rode past, that the cafe in the field adjacent to Beeston Castle has also gone ( literally gone)- What’s happening, 3 local cafe’s gone?

Shortly after passing,  a somewhat unusually quiet ice cream farm, we turn right into our first bit of real headwind, once we called Clive back from going left- Lol (I reckon he should return those hearing aids-Lol). After a brief stretch of headwind we start to head up hill towards Burwardsley, at which point we met our second tractor, cutting hedges. You never used to see hedge cutting at this time of year.  I could go into the reasons for this and a few other things like the unusual local flooding, but the fun police might get on my case, so I will park those thoughts for now. 

No sooner had we got past the hedge trimmer when, yours truly, got a puncture, just as I turned into School Lane. Unfortunately, the puncture dragged on a little, as Fiona pointed out with great delight. She had decided to carry on at her own pace up over Harthill. So of course she had plenty of time, waiting for us to catch up. Far be it from me to cast aspersions, but the prime reason for the delay was the person on the pliers, trying to remove the thorn from my tyre. Once we got an engineer in charge of said pliers- job done- Lol Lol Lol (bless him). To be fair to Steve Hu, oh flip! Did I reveal ‘bless him’s’ name- Lol. He is always the first to lend anybody a hand, pick up stragglers or go back for missing people- bless him!

Photo by AO

Now on our way again ‘bless him’ pointed out that the last time I rode with CER, I’d had a puncture. This prompted me to consider if CER was a bad omen for me, as I have had  only 2 punctures over the past year and both with CER. When I consider that 80% of my cycling is on my own, I am forced to again ask, “what is going on?” Lol.

We picked up Fiona, as we all struggled over the top of Harthill- well I did at least.  Anyway, after a few short recovery gasps, we cracked on to Bickerton. I decide not to head over the ridge, as planned, via my favourite Goldford Lane, as we were now late for lunch by about 15 minutes. Instead, we take the much easier ‘Long Lane’, which was not only flatter, but also saved us a half mile. 

Despite this lane being relatively flat, the headwind was now having an effect on me and I called for somebody, who had some legs, to get on the front. With that, Shane came forward, however, he set a pace approximately 50 feet ahead of us, which sort of defeated the object- he’ll learn- Lol.

It was shortly after this that the ride became something more akin to a ‘Clive’ ride- Lol. Suffice it to say, that Coach Road was a mud bath, much to my annoyance, as I had ridden it the day before and it was clear (honest gov). The farmers had had a field day since then, so I do not accept responsibility for this.

I would also like it known, in this modern age of mutual respect and a need to be mindful of each other’s sensitivities/mental health, that I did not appreciate the tirade of abuse I received from some of the group. They shall remain nameless of course, because I have more respect and consideration- oh sod it! - It was Fiona and Steve Hu- Lol Lol.

So what if we got plastered in mud and water. What the group failed to realise was that our ‘journey’ was  supposed to be all about the memories and everlasting bonds forged through adversity and companionship. Those bonds should not only build partnerships but also encourage self esteem, thus empowerment leading to discovery and the pursuit of even greater endeavours. Do I hear some of you say “what a load of tosh”- Lol, Lol.

It wasn’t long before we were whipping along, down into Tilston and in to the Lost Barn, which was heaving. However, our tables were reserved. Granted there was a long queue, but it didn’t seem to bother anybody.  Lunch was lovely, if a bit expensive.

After a few queries to me as to what the run in to Holt was going to be, I discover that the whole group was abandoning me. Everybody seemed  to have their own idea on how to get back to Holt or head for home. My heart was deeply wounded of course- Lol.  It meant I could get another small hill in, via Carden Park and be home by 2:30- yipee!

So, there is no more to this story, which, no doubt, you will all be disappointed about, as I know how much you look forward to this diatribe- Lol, Lol. I got home, roughly around 2:30 with 40 miles on the clock and a few more upward mtrs than I expected. Hopefully, everybody else made it home without incident. This ride was in fact a new personal record for me, as I have lost several cyclists from the group before, as they all peel off for home or whatever, but this was the first time I had lost everybody!- Lol.

Great day out with some good banter as usual.  Thanks everybody. Remember folks, as the Chinese always say; “a good ride is made by the people involved and the journey they take”- Lol. 

Till next time folks- ‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ - Lol,Lol.

See route map and/or gpx file download

Neil